Howdy's Jokes

Howdy's Jokes is a joke collection for Howdy.

Episode 2: The Ham-Ham Clubhouse

Howdy's "Geyser" Joke (Guy-sir = Geyser)

(Outside, when Boss is waiting for the others to come)

Boss: (looks around) I wonder where the others got to? They promised be here by the time I arrived. (crosses arms) Bet they slept in. Those guys are slackers. They should learn something from me.

Hamtaro and Oxnard: (looks at each other) What guys are?

Howdy: (walks into the scene with broom) Us guys are. (Boss, Hamtaro and Oxnard turned and looked at Howdy) Guys are, geyser. Blowing off steam. (laughs)

Boss, Oxnard & Hamtaro: (has dot-eyes with a sweatdrop & groans)

Howdy: Don't you get it? Guys are blown off steam like a geyser. Pretty funny, if I say so. I should be on T.V.. (laughs)

Episode 3: Calling All Ham-Hams!

Howdy's "New Ham-Ham Song" Joke

(Inside the clubhouse, Hamtaro is introducing the other hams)

Hamtaro: (introduces) And over there's Dexter. And this guy here's Howdy.

Howdy: (plays with abacus like a guitar) Howdy-hodelly! (coughs) Here's your new ham-ham song. (shakes abacus in the air and dances) (sings)

We're new ham-hams, Here's the rub, Gotta pay high fee if you want to join the club.

I'm a new ham-ham, Watch me dance, You can all see my underpants!

(laughs)

Dexter: (On a chair with closed eyes) Hmm. Always doing something to get attention.

Howdy: (comes over) You say something?

Dexter: (puts an arm around his back) Eee. I was just saying we should take turns cleaning the clubhouse, 'cause hamsters love to keep their houses tidy.

Other hams: Yeah!

Episode 4: Come Out, Bijou!

Howdy's "Boss and Bijou, sitting in a tree" Song Joke

(Inside the clubhouse, talking about if Bijou will come to the clubhouse)

Howdy: Mmm... (calculating on his abacus) 'kay, I say she's gonna come over. (Use abacus like a guitar) (sings)

Boss and Bijou, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

(looks around) Encore! Bravo! (laughs)

Ham-Hams: (everyone, but Howdy turns blue)

Boss: (growls and is very angry)

Oxnard: Boss, never mind Howdy. He's just teasing you. You never know. She might come visit.

Boss: (holding a duster) Yeah, I'm gonna go and invite her.

Ham-hams: (gasps)

Episode 7: A Summer Festival Adventure

Howdy's "Figure" Joke

(Ham-hams walking in the tunnels)

Boss: Come on, ham-hams, keep up the pace.

Panda: (behind Boss) Boss, you have a great sense of direction. Bet you could practically find your way around these tunnels with your eyes closed.

Boss: (looks back at Panda) I should hope so.

Howdy: (holds broom) Give me a break. He wouldn't be able to see a thing with his eyes closed.

Dexter: (looks at Howdy) It's just a figure of speech, Howdy.

Howdy: I've got as figure - small and round.

Dexter: (sweatdrop on head and looks down with eyes closed) Hilarious. You're a real comedi-ham.

Howdy: (laughs)

Episode 8: The Sunflower Field

Howdy's "Relief" Joke

(In the clubhouse, sitting down at the table) Dexter: I know this is going to disappoint you, but seeing as it's an overnight trip, unfortunately, I won't be able to join you.

Howdy: (holds broom and looks at Dexter) Why not? We wouldn't miss ya.

Dexter: (looks at Howdy) You might not, but my human would be worried sick if I didn't come home.

Howdy: (put a paw on waist) Ha! As if! There's only one way your human could feel and that's relieved. A whole night away from you. That's how I spell "relief".

Dexter: (close eyes and has a red thing on his head, which meant anger) What are you trying to say?

Howdy: (stands on his stool and Dexter moves back and Howdy holds broom up high) What a relief! Dexter's missing. He didn't come home tonight.

Dexter: (close eyes and put a paw out at Howdy) Sometimes you can be so catty, Howdy.

Howdy: (looks at Dexter) Huh? (sings and moves broom back and forth, dancing, kind of like sweeping)

A cowboy's gotta eat a little dust. If he wants to be tough.

Dexter: (looks away) Well...

Episode 9: Much Ado About School!

Howdy's "Rhyming" Joke

(In the clubhouse, sitting down at the table)

Maxwell: I wonder where Hamtaro and the others got to?

Bijou: (has a sad looking face) It's no fun at the clubhouse when Hamtaro isn't here.

Pashmina: (paws holding up chin, with a bored look on face) I don't know. Isn't there anything cool we could do together?

Howdy: (standing on one foot, raising paws) Sure, let's play a rhyming game.

Ham-hams: (surprised) A rhyming game?

Howdy: (a paw on back) Like this. I'll go first. This seed has no hair (got out a seed behind his back, and threw it away), so what's the point of combing there? (got out a orange comb, comb the top of his head and threw it away, too. Laughs with paws on hips)

Dexter: (has a sad looking face) Very entertaining.

Howdy: (sweatdrop on head) Hmph!

(Everybody has a sad looking face except Howdy and Penelope. She was smiling. Very strange.)

Episode 11: The Wise, Elder Ham

Howdy's "Ham-Shaped Star" Joke

(Outside, on a branch waiting for Caitlin)

Howdy: Getting a laugh around here is like cracking a walnut. (with crossed arms) Uh, how about this: I was in the market and saw some ham-shaped like a star. (pointing a finger upward) So, I says to myself, well, I'll be a rat's uncle. If that ain't a ham-star, (standing tall) I don't know what is.

Oxnard: (smiling) Ha, I don't get it.

Howdy: (turning left to see other hams) Hmm.

Everyone, except Howdy, Oxnard, Hamtaro and Elder Ham: (groans, with a sweatdrop)

Howdy: (turns around to Oxnard with a sweatdrop) Uh, I think I'll work this side of the audience, since I have your attention.

(Everyone was on the branch.)

Episode 12: Bijou's in Danger!

Howdy's "Dark Circles" Joke

(In the clubhouse, talking about what happened to Panda)

Panda: (voice shaky) I'm telling you, you wouldn't believed it. (2 sweatdrops with closed eyes) It was so scary!

Howdy: (holding his broom) Woo hoo, you must have been terrified, Panda. Just look at those dark circles around your eyes. (put a paw behind back) Wait, you've always had those. (laughs with 2 tiny, red circles under his eyes. Then noticed that no one was laughing so, a sweatdrop was on his head.)

(That was pretty mean.)

Episode 13: Let's Dance, Sandy!

Howdy's "Start and Part" Joke

(In the clubhouse, when Hamtaro came late)

Boss: (holding a sword) It's a behind-the-scenes part. You help us with our lines and bring things. Your job is to be the invisible-ham.

Hamtaro: (sadly, wearing the black robe) So I won't be seen?

Boss: Sorry, that's all that's left. Everybody else got here on time.

Howdy: (holding a spear) An early start catches the part. (laughs)

Dexter: (looking sad, with a sweatdrop) Do me a favor and break a leg, Howdy.

Episode 15: Bijou's Favorite Ribbon

Howdy's "Sherlock" Joke

(In the clubhouse, when Bijou accused Hamtaro for stealing her ribbon)

Maxwell: (walking up to Hamtaro and Bijou) Elementary, my dear Bijou. I can prove Hamtaro is innocent.

Howdy: (holding abacus) Well, as I live and breathe, if it isn't The Great Sherlock Maxwell, (raised paw) ham-detective. (laughs)

Dexter: (paws behind back with eyes half closed) Ignore him, Maxwell. We're listening. Go on.

(That was pretty mean, though.)

Episode 16: Get Well, Laura

Howdy's "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" Joke

(In the clubhouse, when Boss complains about his stomach ache)

Boss: (sits on his chair and moans, holds stomach and has a sweatdrop) My stomach hurts.

Ham-Hams: (except Boss, Cappy, Hamtaro and Oxnard, are sitting around the table drinking tea. Whereas the others are sitting somewhere else and Hamtaro is not here, yet)

Howdy: (puts cup down) You know about the story, Boss, about the boy who cried wolf? (holds up a paw) Well, nobody believed him after awhile. You know what I'm saying, partner? (puts paws over mouth and giggles)

Dexter: (holds cup) It's true you've had several ailments lately.

Episode 17: Hamtaro, the Super Sleuth!

Howdy's "Dolt" Joke

(In the clubhouse, when everyone is trying to find out who is the culprit)

Pashmina: (frightened) Aren't there other kinds of animals that like to crawl into holes? What do you think?

Dexter: Maybe we should bolt the door.

Howdy: (raised paws) Did he say dolt? Dolt, hah!

Boss: (pushed nose against Howdy's nose who has a sweatdrop) He said bolt, dolt.

Howdy: Don't have a chicken.

(bolt means fasten with a bolt and dolt means a dull, stupid, person or hamster.)

Episode 18: The Slipper Chase

Howdy's "Do Not" Joke

(In the clubhouse, talking about Laura being Cinderella)

Ham-Hams: (talking)

Oxnard: And you say thousands of people are gonna come and watch Laura do this thing?

Stan: Whoa.

Boss: Man. Our little Laura's gonna be Cinderella.

Ham-Hams: Oopaa! (then realizes that they don't know what is Cinderella)

Boss: Anybody care to explain what a Cinderella is?

Ham-Hams: Uh...

Howdy: Ham-hams, please. Y'all are sittin' here telling me you don't know what the deal with Cinderelly?

Boss: And I suppose you do, Howdy.

Howdy: I most certainly... (raise paws) do not. (laughs) Come on, Boss, don't you know a joke when it hits you in the face? Laugh it up, ham-hams.

Dexter: (sighs)

Episode 19: Panda's Ham-Ham Fun Park!

Howdy's "Amusement Park" Joke

(In the clubhouse, sitting down at the table)

Boss: (talks quietly with crossed arms and eyes closed and blushes a little) I can just see Bijou and me hand-in-hand, under the stars at the amusement park. How romantic. (still with crossed arms and blushing a little with a sweatdrop) Hey, what exactly is an amusement park?

Ham-hams: (groans with sweatdrops on their heads and fell off their chairs)

Stan: (groans and gets up) Oh, man, you don't even know what we're talking about?

Howdy: (sweatdrop and Boss blushes a lot) Oh, cats, Boss, (sweatdrop gone) am I gonna have to draw you a picture or something?

Boss: (sweatdrop and is a little panic) Don't tell me you know what it is, too. I don't believe it!

Howdy: (uses hand gestures) Howdy sees all and knows all. Everybody knows what it is, except you, of course. An amusement park is a place where you park your car and you amuse yourself. (put paws behind back) Walked right into that one, didn't ya? (laughs) Couldn't resist. (body turns into straight sides with sweatdrops)

Boss: (a big, angry face and Howdy is small with a big sweatdrop and is sweating a lot) So, you think you're funny, huh? (picks up Howdy and tickled him with a sweatdrop on Howdy's head) I'll show you funny. Are you laughing now?

Howdy: (points at Boss) Better watch your blood pressure at your age.

Dexter: (eyes is small and talks quietly) Maybe Boss will finally be able to shake Howdy's funny bone into place. It's been out of joint for a long time now.

Howdy: (pants with eyes turns to X's and blue under the eyes, with a sweatdrop and sweating a little) One little joke and the guy goes wacky on me.

Episode 20: The Snoozer Mystery!

Howdy's "Alien Snoozer Story" Joke

(Outside the clubhouse, talking about Snoozer) Howdy: (standing on cupboard, holding the broom like a flag) I wouldn't stand too close to the guy, if I was y'all.

Ham-Hams: (turn around and look at Howdy) Huh?

Howdy: (raise a paw and the broom) Yes, sir, I thought hard about the condition of Mr. Snoozer here, as I had my own suspicions. (looks evil) Suspicions that were proven correct when I saw his spaceship land in the dark of a moonless night.

Stan: Are you saying you saw a spaceship, Howdy?

Hamtaro: (question marks appear around him) So you think Snoozer's a...

Howdy: Space alien! (hits broom on the cupboard and looks evil) And you all know what aliens do to ham-hams, don't ya?

Dexter: (looks scared to death, gasps, and thought) You don't mean like use us for key chains, or something?

Hamtaro: (a scene with a spaceship shooting lasers) Putting two and two together, I'd say he's crossed the milky way for a galatic ham-battle. (a little spaceship with a hamster in it zooms to Earth) Who knows how many alien ham-droids are roaming the field disguised as sleepy-heads. This equals one big problem for planet Earth, I tell ya. (a tall alien hamster is wearing a cape and a mask chuckles evilly)

Ham-Hams: (scared to death) Ahhh!

Bijou: (scared, too, with the pigtails sticking up) Snoozer is from outer space!

Howdy: It was after dinner, and there I was, innocently calculating my banana treats. I was walking though the park (points up) and a large cigar-shaped object descended on me!

Bijou and Penelope: (panics and screams)

Ham-Hams: (rub heads) Kushi-kushi, kushi-kushi, kushi-kushi...

Hamtaro: (with a sweatdrop) Hey, but Howdy never goes out at night 'cause there's humans at home.

Ham-Hams: (turn around and looks at Howdy)

Howdy: (has a sweatdrop) Um, well, uh... (starts to sweep) I might have made up the alien part.

Ham-Hams: (fall down) Uhh...

Sandy: Don't scare us like that, it's cruel.

Boss: (blushes a little with a sweatdrop) Yeah, it's not nice to scare your old pals with made-up stories.

Howdy: (stops sweeping) You're all so touchy, don't you like hearing creepy stories? I'm just trying to liven the place up. (jumps off the cupboard, throws the broom and has an evil look on his face) You were shaken like jelly. (leans back) I could have-

Dexter: (pushes him) You could have spared us from your jokes.

Ham-Hams: (agreeing to Dexter)

Episode 21: Courage, Cappy!

Howdy's "Cappy and Boss" Joke

(In the clubhouse, talking about Cappy living with Boss)

Dexter: I must admit, I've thought of living in the great outdoors, leaving the good life with humans to live out in the wild like Boss, and forging a living for yourself every single day.

Howdy: The wild west, roughing it outdoors! (with actions) There was a little hamster called Cappy McGee. He lived with the Boss, who was strange as he could be. (laughs)

Ham-Hams: (have half eyes)

Howdy: (has a sweatdrop) Uh, no go?

Episode 22: Pashmina's Present

Howdy's "Fruit That Looks Like Pashmina" Joke

(Outside, Hamtaro, Bijou and Howdy are talking about what kind of present will Pashmina like)

Howdy: Presenting my present! (shows another red apron) It's my spare apron. I'm giving it to Pashmina. I think it's clean. (sniffs) Hif-hif. Country garden!

Hamtaro: (stands up and raise paw) You've taking gifts to a whole new level!

Howdy: Yeah, that's what I thought. (starts spinning around) She's gonna have an apron matching mine, and she's gonna wear i all the time, and we're gonna look just the same! (looks at Hamtaro) We'll be a pair.

Hamtaro: (has a sweatdrop) Huh?

Howdy: Not that Pashmina looks like a pear or anything. (turns around) More like a squash, but with fur on. Or a couple of kiwis piled on top of each other, like a snowman. Yeah, that's it! (laughs)

Bijou: (has half eyes) I don't like it at all, Howdy.

Howdy: (blushes and has sweatdrop) Well, I'm both hurt and stunned. You big-city hams are too stuffy to appreciate a good joke? (laughs)

Bijou: (has half eyes and a sweatdrop) It's the apron idea I don't like, not the joke. (has a sweatdrop with blue lines on head) Also, the joke is not so good, either.

Howdy: (gasps)

Bijou: It is not a good gift for her. She does not want to look like you.

Howdy: (background changes into a snowy blizzard, and the apron was blown away) Now what do I do. (covered in ice)

Episode 23: Maxwell's Big Scoop!

Howdy's "Lost" Joke

(Outside, on a pond which is frozen)

Stan: (on a leaf, moving to an island and waving his maracas) So long! I'm gonna be the first one to check out this island over here for my big scoop.

Ham-Hams: (blink) Huh?

Stan: (brags) Unexplore territory is always big new in the hamster world.

Dexter: (on a leaf) He's so competitive.

Howdy: (on abacas) Well, I know what. Why don't you be the first one to try and get lost? (moves arm) Oh, Howdy, you crack me up! (put paw behind back)

Dexter: (looks desperate) Ever get the feeling that people are laughing at you instead of with you?

Episode 25: Merry Christmas!

Howdy's "Christmas Tree" Joke

(In the clubhouse, complimenting the Christmas tree)

Boss: Ahh, the tree. A time for... a time for, uh... (cross arms) wait, just what do you do with a tree?

Ham-Hams: (fall backward in 3's and groan)

Howdy: (big Howdy, small Boss, and Howdy has star eyes) You don't know what it is?

Oxnard: (Howdy pulls him) Why me?

Howdy: Why should I have to explain everything? This time, is your turn.

Oxnard: Does it have something to do with putting lights up?

Howdy: That's really observant of ya. (laughs and points to Hamtaro. Boss has a red on head) Okay, you tell him.

Hamtaro: (puts arm behind him) I don't actually know much about Christmas trees. (Boss has a red on head)

Howdy: Odelly. (moves finger) You should be ashamed of yourself.

Stan: Beats me. I just like the colors a lot. (hums and shakes marakas)

Howdy: (lies on the ground with lots of sweatdrops and sighs. Then sighs, again with a white upside-down shaped mushroom) I'm starting to think that you guys don't know anything about Christmas trees. For all you ham-hams know, they're for putting gifts under before you could open them. (laughs)

Ham-Hams: (groans)

Dexter: As a matter of fact, you do put your gifts under the tree.

Bijou, Sandy and Pashmina: Yeah, Howdy.

Bijou: Of course.

Howdy: (stutters) I was trying to mess with y'all. Don't you all got a sense of humor? Come on now! (laughs)

Ham-Hams: (groans and red appears around them)

Episode 26: The Legend of the Courageous Hamtaro!

Howdy's "Knave" Joke

(In a dream, when Princess Laura talking to the ham-hams knights)

Stan: (clears throat and bows) I, Sir Stan Brag-a-lot, bid my lady glad tidings, this fair morn. As the most chivalrous knight of the Hamdom, I declare that all evil-doers have been driven from the land by the gallent ham-ham knights.

Dexter: Most chivalrous knight, givest me a break. I don't remember anyone voting him as the bravest knight.

Howdy: He ain't brave, more like a knave.

Dexter: (turns to look at Howdy and has a sweatdrop) Hm.

Howdy: Sir Stan, the shining "knavel". (laughs)

Dexter: Can't you at least spare me from the stinky jokes when we're in someone's dream?

Howdy: (turns to look at Dexter) Who says it's a dream?

(Knave means a dishonest person)

Episode 27: The Snowball Fight!

Howdy's "Wiener" Joke

(Outside in the snow, talking about Stan and Boss having a competition)

Howdy: I give you the ham-on-ice challenge.

Hamtaro: Great idea. Competition! (happy) I want to be the announcer!

Bijou: (sadly) I think maybe their brains are frozen.

Hamtaro: (Boss' and Stan's cheeks lean on each other) Look at it this way, Bijou. It takes guts to be in a competition like this. (Boss and Stan face each other) both of them are gonna be winners.

Howdy: I'll take a ham over a wiener any old day. (laughs)

Dexter: (faces him) Will you be serious, we're talking about sports here!

Episode 28: The Amazing Auntie Viv

Howdy's "Waste-athon" Joke

(In the clubhouse, talking about what's a marathon)

Maxwell: A marathon is a running competition, extending in a large marked area. In other words...

Boss: Yeah, yeah. It's a long-distanced race.

Maxwell: Couldn't have said it better myself.

Oxnard: (points to a map on the table) We're in luck, 'cause I heard Kana explaining the route to her parents. Tomorrow's race is gonna start at the school and then go all the way to the lighthouse back.

Everyone: Ohh...

Hamtaro: That'll take us ages to run.

Penelope: (sadly) Ookyoo.

Bijou: Why would anyone want to get all hot and sweaty running around?

Maxwell: Actually, you might be surprised. It takes regular training, but you can run a long way, and feel hamster-riffic afterwards.

Sandy: (holds ribbon) Like training for gymnastic competitions.

Panda: When I got time on my paws, I rather build stuff, then run around for no reason.

Cappy: (grabs hat) I wonder if the runners get to wear swimming caps, like this, to make them go faster.

Howdy: (calculates on abacus) Who cares, it's a waste of time and energy. (raises paw) Yeah, that's it. They should call it a waste-athon! (laughs)

Dexter: (sweatdrop) Oh. Sort of like listening to you day-in and day-out. (crosses arms)

Howdy: (looks at him angrily) Huh?

Episode 31: Boss is a Mom!

Howdy's "Breath Mint" Joke

(Outside, Maxwell, Cappy, Howdy, Pashmina and Dexter are catching fish for Kitty) Dexter: (everyone has T_T face) Oh, how come we end up in a cold river bank catching fish for a cat.

Cappy: Yeah, well the amount he eats we'll probably be fishing for a long time.

Maxwell: We should be grateful he didn't like our sunflower seeds, I guess.

Howdy: We better hurry up and catch this fish so we can find the second half of his meal: breath mints! (laughs)

Everyone: (T_T) Hmm.

Episode 32: Valentine's Day!

Howdy's "Valentine's Day Present" Joke

(In the clubhouse, the boys talking about how to get presents)

All the boys: (thinking with crosses arms)

Hamtaro: So how do we get presents?

Boss: (puts the shovel tip on the ground) Well, that's obvious. We have to pretend we don't want any girls to like us.

Dexter: How many years have gone by since you got a Valentine's Day gift?

Boss: (has a red on head and puts nose on Dexter's nose)

Dexter: I'm just saying that you should try something different this year!

Panda: Bijou always says that you should show how you feel.

Boss: (moves away from Dexter) Hmm...

Oxnard: Maybe I could split my one seed into a bunch of pieces, and get a bunch of presents back.

Howdy: (clears throat) I hereby to declare, I'm open to receive presents. I'd even take a Valentine's gift from you, Oxnard.

Everyone else: (has a sweatdrop)

Howdy: Uh, but-but I'm not picky.

Everyone else, besides Dexter: (sighs)

Dexter: (with sweatdrop) I'll give my presents to hams that don't tell stinky jokes.

Howdy: (angry) What about my jokes?

Episode 194: Lapis and Lazuli

Howdy's "Okashi" Joke

Hamtaro: Oh, that's right! We are looking for a house made out of sweets! Lapis, do you know something about it?

Lapis: (Gasp) A house made out of sweets...?

Howdy: Yup! A house made of sweets, where Lapis and everyone can have a laugh! (began laughing)

Hamtaro: What are you talking about, Howdy?

(Scene changes to a candy-themed backdrop.)

Howdy: "Okashi" also means "Okashii"! Just kidding! C'mon everyone, it's the best joke! (laughing)

(Everyone was disappointed upon hearing Howdy's joke.)

Lapis: ...What's up with him?

Dexter: Howdy's always like this... please, forget about him.