The Flying Ham-Hams
A Hamtaro Transcript by Kiwi Kenobi
(Hamtaro is sitting on Laura’s windowsill. The window is open, and it’s a beautiful day.)
Hamtaro: Mmm. A nice morning breeze. Perfect.
(He throws a human sized paper airplane out the window and watches it fly.)
Hamtaro: Take off!
(He slips and almost falls out of the window, but he climbs back up. He sees some birds fly by.)
Birds: Tweet, tweet. Tweet, tweet, tweet.
Hamtaro: No time to hang around. Birds are so lucky to be able to fly. I’d give almost anything if I could swoop over the city on a day like this. (he hears a guitar) Huh?
Jingle: My concentration broken by a paper airplane. Where did I put my pig?
(Jingle is sitting on the Haruna family mailbox. He has Hamtaro’s paper airplane.)
Jingle: The question still remains.
Hamtaro: Over here, Jingle.
Jingle: The solitude ends. Hey, Hambone.
Hamtaro: For crying out loud, the name’s Hamtaro!
Jingle: Changed your name again, have you? I’m down with that.
Hamtaro: So, how long have you been sitting on my mailbox?
Jingle: (plays guitar) Since the sun opened its great, heavy eyes, since forever and only an instant.
Jingle: Which reminds me of a poem I wrote the time I looked up and saw a flying hamster.
Hamtaro: Ham-ticky-tastic! You mean hamsters can fly?
Jingle: Or was it a dream?
Hamtaro: (sweatdrops) Mmm. (yells) Do hamsters fly or don’t they?
Jingle: Awakening from slumber, a hamster flies under a field of cucumbers in bloom. What do you think of my vegetable imagery?
(Jingle starts to leave)
Hamtaro: Tell me more about this flying hamster!
(Jingle jumps down from the mailbox)
Jingle: It wouldn’t take much for a hamster to fly if he ate lots of cabbage and stared at the sky. All it takes is imagination.
Jingle: And a good tailwind.
(Jingle walks away. Bijou, Penelope, and Panda come running up the sidewalk.)
Bijou: Hamtaro, come quickly!
Hamtaro: Hey! What’s the big hurry?
Panda: We wanna show you something.
(at Laura’s school in her classroom)
Mr. Yoshi: (holding up a flowerpot) It’s that time of year I know you’ve all been looking forward to, the time when each class gets to come up with a garden design for the school Spring Festival.
Laura: (whispers) Please don’t pick me. Anyone but me.
(Mr. Yoshi puts on a blindfold)
Mr. Yoshi: (holds up his finger) Now, let’s let Mr. Finger decide who becomes our designer. Here goes nothing!
(He puts his finger down randomly on the class roll book and lifts up the blindfold to see who he picked.)
Mr. Yoshi: Laura Haruna!
Kana: (to Laura) You must be jinxed.
Laura: Wait, I can’t garden.
Mr. Yoshi: Congratulations! We’re all counting on you, Laura.
(The class applauds)
(Hamtaro is following Panda, Bijou, and Penelope)
Hamtaro: So, you were up in your attic exploring?
Panda: I sure was. And you won’t believe what I found up there.
(they all hop up the stairs into Panda’s house up to the attic, and Panda leads them through a hidden door)
Hamtaro: A secret room!
Bijou: Have you ever seen so much crawl space?
Hamtaro: Ah… What did you want to show me?
Panda: (shows him a big treasure chest) From what I can figure, it’s a treasure box hidden by my grandfather’s, grandfather’s, grandfather’s, grandfather’s grandfather before him, give or take a few. (grabs a big scroll out of the box) Here, I’ll show you.
Hamtaro: An old scroll? Yummy, yummy, yummy!
Panda: It’s not for krrmpin’. Tada! (unrolls the scroll)
(It’s a picture of a hamster wearing goggles and a cape flying in the sky)
Hamtaro: What is it?
Panda: The Legendary Flying Hamster!
Hamtaro and Bijou: The Legendary Flying Hamster?
Panda: When I was little, the old Hams used to sit around the water dish talking about him late at night. My greatest great grandfather actually saw him!
Hamtaro: Oh, yeah? You’re almost famous!
(In the park, the whole Ham Gang is sitting on a bench.)
Ham-Hams: What? A flying hamster?
Hamtaro: We even saw his picture, and pictures never lie! Long, long ago, there was a hamster who could fly above the clouds like a superhero!
Howdy: (sighs) I know you’re all worked up…
Boss: …but you’re not seriously suggesting something…
Dexter: …as inconceivable as a flying hamster? Everyone knows that only our great cousins the flying squirrels have ever taken to the skies and lived to tell the tale.
Maxwell: (reading his book) I couldn’t find anything between flying fish and flying lizards.
Hamtaro: Yeah? But so what? Panda’s great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather saw him!
Panda: That’s what my grandpa said.
Boss: You can believe what you want to, I guess.
Oxnard: I’d like to believe you, but hamsters don’t have wings, you see…
Stan: (interrupting) Come on, can we get back to our soccer game?
Bijou: (talking to the girl Hams) And he had goggles and a beautiful cape.
Boss: I’ve worn goggles and a cape before, Bijou. You don’t actually think that hamsters can fly?
Bijou: We may never know, but a Ham-girl must have dreams.
Pashmina: I believe it’s possible.
(Stan comes up behind them)
Stan: Me, too. What Pashmina said.
Boss: You know hamsters can’t fly, Stan!
Stan: Lesson number thirty-nine: the laws of science take a back seat to romance.
(Boss and Dexter hit him, and he sails away)
Hamtaro: Okay, I guess I just have to draw them a picture.
(Hamtaro hops down from the bench and grabs a stick. We see the other Hams watching him with question marks appearing over their heads. Hamtaro draws a picture of the Flying Hamster in the dirt.)
Hamtaro: I’m not sure, but I think these goggles make him fly. Now, then, which of you Hams is gonna help me solve this puzzle?
Boss: You want our help?
Cappy: I’m not too sure…
Maxwell: The outcome is doubtful.
Hamtaro: Think big or go home! That’ll be our new motto.
Bijou: I think Hamtaro’s right.
Howdy: That doesn’t mean he can fly!
Dexter: If hamsters could fly…
Boss: …we wouldn’t be standing here.
All Boy-Hams except for Hamtaro and Panda: Hamsters are never gonna fly.
All Girl-Hams and Hamtaro and Panda: Oh, yes they will!
All Boy-Hams except for Hamtaro and Panda: Hamsters cannot fly!
All Girl-Hams and Hamtaro and Panda: Hamsters can so too fly!
All Boy-Hams except for Hamtaro and Panda: I don’t care what you say, Ham-Hams can’t fly anyway.
All Girl-Hams and Hamtaro and Panda: Can so! Can so! Can so! Can so!
(The two sides glare at each other and growl)
(Elder Ham jumps down onto the bench dressed in a cape and goggles.)
Elder Ham: Tada!
Elder Ham: (posing heroically) I am here! The one and the only, world class, famous, Flying Elder!
Hamtaro: Flying Elder?
Elder Ham: Eh… Actually, more like Jump.
(All of the Ham-Hams fall down.)
(Laura and Kana are walking outside.)
Laura: (moans) No fair. I’ll bet there were lots of people who wanted to do the flower plan.
Kana: You’ll do fine. Don’t worry.
(They sit down on a park bench.)
Kana: You could do the school building.
Laura: Maybe… Hmm?
(Laura looks down at the ground and sees Hamtaro’s drawing of the Flying Hamster in the dirt)
Laura: (happy) I think I just got my idea! It’ll be great!
(In the Ham-Ham Clubhouse)
Hamtaro: So, here’s my idea. It’ll be great!
(Hamtaro has a drawing of a guy parachuting with umbrellas)
Bijou: Uh… Umbrellas?
Panda: I suppose that could keep us in the air.
Hamtaro: Don’t worry. I’ll try yours if mine doesn’t work, Panda.
(Back at Laura’s school, everyone is crowded around Mr. Yoshi’s desk. Mr. Yoshi is looking at a piece of paper. We can’t see what’s on it.)
Laura: Mmm hmm.
Kid: I think you’ve got it upside down.
Another Kid: I was thinking maybe sideways.
Mr. Yoshi: I like it! It’s fresh, original, and I’m almost certain this will win our class the first place in the Spring Festival Garden design contest. Hooray for Laura’s wonderful whatchamacallit!
Kana: What do you call it?
Laura: (smiles) The Flying Hamster!
(Outside, Hamtaro and the Girls are ready to test their flight plans on top of a grassy hill. Hamtaro is wearing goggles and a cape.)
Hamtaro: Attention! I will now attempt to prove that hamsters can fly when they really set their minds to it!
(Hamtaro ties himself to a couple of big umbrellas)
Bijou: It looks a little heavy.
Pashmina: Perhaps we need a hurricane.
Hamtaro: After this test flight, I’ll take you ladies up. (starts running) Badda-badda-badda-badda…
(The umbrellas are way too heavy for him to move. Hamtaro tried really hard, though.)
Pashmina: Don’t try this at home.
Bijou: Yes, not good.
(Panda shows up with a paper fan.)
Panda: Don’t worry. I brought a backup.
(Hamtaro gives up on pulling the umbrellas.)
Pashmina: Maybe you’ll have better luck with this one.
Bijou: It’s much prettier.
Hamtaro: No sense being stubborn. Might as well give yours a try.
(Hamtaro ties himself to the paper fan)
Panda: Just run fast, like you’re escaping from a cat. If you run hard enough, then the wind will catch the fan like a kite, and you’ll be flying like my ancestor!
Bijou: I am convinced.
Hamtaro: Here I go! Oopaa!
(Hamtaro starts running. The fan bounces along on the ground behind him.)
Panda and the Girl-Hams: Go! Go, Hamtaro!
Hamtaro: (still running) Badda-badda-badda-badda…
(Hamtaro trips and falls all the way down the hill. Looks pretty painful. He lands in a mud puddle.)
Hamtaro: I think I got a couple seconds of airtime.
Boss, Howdy, and Oxnard: (off-screen) (laugh)
(Nearby, Boss, Oxnard, and Howdy are having a nice bento-box lunch and watching Hamtaro.)
Boss: Now this is what I call hamsterific picnic entertainment.
Oxnard: Hamtaro, I shouldn’t’ve laughed at you for at least trying, but now that it hasn’t worked, please give up and come eat.
Howdy: Even the greatest flying hamsters know when to give in.
Hamtaro: No! I’m not going to give up!
(Later, Hamtaro has tied himself to a square of paper that looks more like a kite than the paper fan did.)
Hamtaro: This time it’ll work for sure!
Panda and the Girl-Hams: Go! Go, Hamtaro!
(Hamtaro starts running again.)
Hamtaro: (picking up speed) Badda-badda-badda-badda… Come on! Come on! It has to work this time!
Boss, Howdy, and Oxnard: Eat more, fly less.
Hamtaro: (still running) Come on! Almost!
Boss, Howdy, and Oxnard: Eat more, fly less.
Hamtaro: Almost got it!
Boss, Howdy, and Oxnard: Fly less.
Hamtaro: A little more!
Boss, Howdy, and Oxnard: Eat more.
Hamtaro: Here I go! (the winds catches the paper and send him tumbling) I’m flying!
(Hamtaro crashes into Boss, Howdy, and Oxnard, they fly into the air and start to fall.)
Oxnard: We’re flying!
Howdy: I don’t recommend this on a full stomach! Aaah!
(They all hit the ground. Ouch.)
Jingle: Another pack of hamsters flaps overhead as if my subconscious calls me to write a second verse for the Flying Hamster poem.
(Back at the school, everyone is working on the flower design contest. Mr. Yoshi is supervising Laura’s class.)
Mr. Yoshi: Don’t use any more yellow, and add some purple there, and you guys over there, put in the blue. Let’s get that first place prize!
Kana: (to Laura) All the other classes have heard about our amazing design, and they can’t wait to see it.
Laura: Can’t blame them.
(Back at the Ham-Ham Clubhouse, everyone involved in the crash is bandaged up. Bijou is putting a bandage on Boss.)
Boss: (groans) I don’t feel so good.
Howdy: Like a flapjack.
(Hamtaro, bandaged but optimistic as ever, is making wings out of feather on the clubhouse floor)
Hamtaro: Everybody gets a pair of wings.
Boss: Come on, Hamtaro.
Howdy: You are more stubborn than a mule!
Hamtaro: The last flight was kind of cool, but I wanna be able to fly without having to run so far next time. You know, with all the obstacles and stuff.
Boss: Obstacles? Uh huh.
Hamtaro: Just think of all the things we can do when we fly.
Sandy: (dreamy) Mmm. I could float above the basketball hoop and make baskets every time.
Pashmina: I could take Penelope sightseeing.
Bijou: I could see my friends in France.
Stan: Think of all the Ham-Girls I could see in one day if I didn’t have to hoof it all the time.
Oxnard: What’s in it for me?
Stan: You could fly to exotic islands and eat some of those Macarena nuts, or whatever they’re called.
Oxnard: Hey! Why didn’t I think of that?
Hamtaro: And if we were scared of something, we could get away really quickly.
Boss: Now you got my attention.
(Boss and Oxnard start daydreaming)
(In Oxnard’s daydream, Oxnard has little butterfly wings on his back, and he’s flying by a palm tree.)
Oxnard: La, la, la, here I am, flying in the fog. What’s this? A super high-up tree full of yummy nuts!
(He flies to the top of the tree and gets a nut and eats it)
Oxnard: Krrmp! Krrmp, krrmp, krrmp, krrmp. It’s a good thing hamsters can fly.
(In Boss’s daydream, Boss is also flying on little butterfly wings. He flies up to a sleeping dog and draws a circle around his eye with a marker. The dog wakes up and Boss sticks out his tongue at him. The dog gets mad and jumps to try to catch him, but Boss just flies away, still sticking his tongue out.)
(Back in the real world.)
Boss, Stan, and Oxnard: Where do we sign up for flying lessons?
Panda: (off screen) Hey, Everybody!
(Panda comes running into the Clubhouse)
Panda: Look at this! You won’t believe it! Check it out!
(Panda unrolls the other half of the Flying Hamster scroll on the table over the first half. It shows that the Flying Hamster is tied to a bunch of balloons.)
Panda: The second half of the scroll.
Bijou: He has balloons.
Hamtaro: So, that’s the secret. Great! I was starting to run out of ideas.
Cappy: So we just need…
Boss: A bunch of balloons, preferably one of each color.
Sandy: Where do we get ‘em?
Panda: Make sure I get a yellow one.
Oxnard: I want a red balloon.
Boss: We’ll send a team into town.
Hamtaro: Once we have a bunch of balloons…
(He holds up a picture of a basket tied to a bunch of balloons)
Hamtaro: …we’ll build ourselves a Ham-Ham Flyer!
(Back at the school.)
Laura: That’s the last one.
Mr. Yoshi: Are we ready?
Class: You bet.
Mr. Yoshi: This is the best flower garden we’ve ever had.
(Meanwhile, in town. A couple of guys are standing in front of a store.)
Guys: Super sale! Come on in!
(Hamtaro peeks out from behind a planter and sees a bunch of balloons tied to a hat on a monkey’s head. The monkey is fake, but Hamtaro doesn’t know that.)
Hamtaro: This is perfect. Just the balloons we need.
(Boss and the other hamsters show up carrying a basket)
Boss: It’s not a dog dish, but it’s the next best thing.
(A kid walks by the store)
Kid: Cool! Look at the monkey!
(The kid hits the monkey, and the monkey clashes the cymbals in his hands together. The kids runs off laughing like a lunatic. The hamsters are scared of the monkey.)
Boss: Somebody go tell that monkey he’s having way too much fun and we’re gonna have to commandeer his balloons. Hmm?
(Everyone except for Boss and Hamtaro is hiding under the basket.)
Oxnard: You go talk to him. I’m not big on monkeys.
Boss: Why do I always have to do everything?
Oxnard and Howdy: ‘Cause it was your idea?
Hamtaro: (to Boss) I’ll go with you. He’d never say no to a fellow mammal.
(Hamtaro and Boss and the others go up to the monkey.)
Hamtaro: (bows) Excuse me, Mr. Monkey, could we have your balloons if you’re all done with them?
(The monkey’s eyes are closed. It doesn’t say anything because it’s fake.)
Hamtaro: You’re probably not supposed to talk to strangers.
Boss: (sticks his tongue out at the monkey)
(the monkey still doesn’t do anything.)
Hamtaro: Mr. Monkey?
(A lady walking by accidentally bumps the monkey with her bag. The monkey goes nuts clashing the cymbals and making monkey sounds. It comes loose from its stand and starts to float on the balloons tied to its hat. The Ham-Hams run for their lives and hide behind the planter again. The monkey floats by.)
Hamtaro: Oh, no! It’s flying away!
(Hamtaro chases after the monkey.)
Bijou: Hamtaro! Come back!
(People on the street stare at the monkey flying by. Hamtaro is still chasing it.)
(The monkey floats into the street, stopping traffic.)
Hamtaro: Where are you going?
(the monkey’s hat comes off, the monkey falls to the ground, almost hitting Hamtaro. The hat is still tied to the balloon and starts to float higher.)
Hamtaro: (still running) Hurry, everyone, there’s no time to waste! Find a tree and help me catch these balloons! We’re not gonna lose our chance to build the Ham-Ham Flyer!
Boss: You heard the Ham! Move it!
(Hamtaro climbs up a tree after the balloons. The rest of the Ham-Hams are running to catch up with him. Hamtaro goes out on a branch and reaches for the hat.)
Hamtaro: Almost got it. Help! Somebody!
(Hamtaro grabs the very edge of the hat. It starts to pull him away.)
Bijou: Quick! Grab him!
(Boss grabs Hamtaro by the foot. Hamtaro is still holding onto the hat.)
Hamtaro: Climb aboard, Ham-Hams! This is our chance!
Hamtaro: My foot’s getting tickly! Hurry up!
Oxnard: I don’t know if that’s a very good idea.
Howdy: It’s a big drop.
Panda: Well, I’m getting on.
(Panda climbs up Boss and Hamtaro and gets onto the hat. The rest of the hamsters join him until the hat turns inside out, making a perfect balloon basket for them to stand in. Soon only Howdy and Oxnard are left.)
Panda: Come on, Howdy!
Stan: You, too, Oxy!
Howdy: Make way! I’m coming aboard!
(Howdy jumps on and makes them slip away from the tree. They start to float away with Hamtaro, Boss and Oxnard hanging of the edge. They climb up and get safe inside. Now, the Ham-Hams are flying!)
Oxnard: Aah! I think I’m suddenly afraid of heights!
Hamtaro: Look over here, everybody!
Panda: There’s my house and our park.
Bijou: There’s our special tree.
Hamtaro: Operation: Ham-Ham Flyer!
(Some birds fly by)
Birds: Chirp, chirp. Tweet, tweet.
Boss: Hello, little birdies.
Pashmina: I can see across the ocean.
Oxnard: It’s so pretty I could cry.
Hamtaro: Mission accomplished.
Oxnard: Oops! I dropped a seed!
Bijou: Wait! Isn’t that where Laura and Kana go to school?
Hamtaro: It is. Look! A Ham-Ham!
(The hamsters look down and see the school. Out in front are plots of flowers arranged to make pictures. One of them is of the Flying Hamster!)
Hamtaro: The Legendary Flying Hamster!
Hamtaro: Everybody seems to know that hamsters can fly!
(Down on the ground)
Laura and Kana: (laugh)
Mr. Yoshi: (hopping around happily) We won! They like me! We won!
Elder Ham: (watching from the fence) Nice. Nice.
(Jingle is up in a tree with the paper airplane.)
Jingle: Said the farmer to the planter, “did you see that flying hamster?” You see, a dream, just like a carrot, will come true if you prepare it. (throws the paper airplane) Up and away.
(the paper airplane sails by the Ham-Ham Flyer in the sky)
(that night, Laura is writing in her journal and Hamtaro is sitting on her desk)
Laura: I had an excellent day today.
Hamtaro: (thinks) So did I. We went up in a balloon and had a tour of the city.
Laura: My garden design was a huge success. The Spring Festival Judge gave us first prize! I really wish you could’ve seen it, Hamtaro.
Hamtaro: (thinks) I did, Laura. I had the bestest view.
Laura: I got the idea for the flying hamster from these funny squiggles in the ground.
Hamtaro: (thinks) Funny squiggles? That was a work of art! (smiles)
Laura: (picks up Hamtaro) We had a good day today, didn’t we? I don’t really know what adventures tomorrow will bring, but I know it’ll be fun.